Things Rednecks Will Never Say Joke

# I'll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex.
# Duct tape won't fix that.
# Honey, I think we should sell the pickup and buy a family sedan.
# Come to think of it, I'll have a Heineken.
# We don't keep firearms in this house.
# Has anybody seen the sideburns trimmer?
# You can't feed that to the dog.
# I thought Graceland was tacky.
# No kids in the back of the pickup, it's just not safe.
# Wrestling's fake.
# Honey, did you mail that donation to Greenpeace?
# We're vegetarians.
# Do you think my gut is too big?
# I'll have grapefruit and grapes instead of biscuits and gravy.
# Honey, we don't need another dog.
# Who gives a crap who won the Civil War?
# Give me the small bag of pork rinds.
# Too many deer heads detract from the decor.
# Spittin' is such a nasty habit.
# I just couldn't find a thing at Wal-Mart today.
# Checkmate.
# She's too young to be wearing a bikini.
# Does the salad bar have bean sprouts?
# Hey, here's an episode of "Hee Haw" that we haven't seen.
# I don't have a favorite college team.
# Be sure to bring my salad dressing on the side.
# You ALL.
# Those shorts ought to be a little longer, Darla.
# Nope, no more for me. I'm drivin' tonight.

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<table border="0"><tr><td><h1>Things Rednecks Will Never Say Joke</h1>
<hr />
<table border="0" width="60%"><tr><td bgcolor="#FFFFFF"># I'll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex.<br># Duct tape won't fix that.<br># Honey, I think we should sell the pickup and buy a family sedan.<br># Come to think of it, I'll have a Heineken.<br># We don't keep firearms in this house.<br># Has anybody seen the sideburns trimmer?<br># You can't feed that to the dog.<br># I thought Graceland was tacky.<br># No kids in the back of the pickup, it's just not safe.<br># Wrestling's fake.<br># Honey, did you mail that donation to Greenpeace?<br># We're vegetarians.<br># Do you think my gut is too big?<br># I'll have grapefruit and grapes instead of biscuits and gravy.<br># Honey, we don't need another dog.<br># Who gives a crap who won the Civil War?<br># Give me the small bag of pork rinds.<br># Too many deer heads detract from the decor.<br># Spittin' is such a nasty habit.<br># I just couldn't find a thing at Wal-Mart today.<br># Checkmate.<br># She's too young to be wearing a bikini.<br># Does the salad bar have bean sprouts?<br># Hey, here's an episode of "Hee Haw" that we haven't seen.<br># I don't have a favorite college team.<br># Be sure to bring my salad dressing on the side.<br># You ALL.<br># Those shorts ought to be a little longer, Darla.<br># Nope, no more for me. I'm drivin' tonight.</td></tr></table></td></tr><tr><td><font style="font-size: 10px; weight: bold"><a href="http://www.dork.tv">brought to you by Dork.tv</a></td></tr></table>

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