You might be a Redneck Jedi if .... Joke

ou Might Be A Redneck Jedi If . . .
* . . . you use your lightsaber to cut the bottlecap off a beer.
* . . . you say "these are not the beers you are looking for."
* . . . that "disturbance in the Force" was just last night's baked beans.
* . . . the inside of your house looks more like Dagobah than the outside.
* . . . you call your young apprentice, "Juner.(JR.)"
* . . . you have ever used telekinesis to pull your jeans up.
* . . . the Force isn't the only thing that runs in your family.
* . . . you call Hank Williams Jr. "master".
* . . . your landspeeder has a gun rack.
* . . . you meditate to old CCR records.
* . . . you call Yoda your Li'l green buddy.
* . . . you have ever said, "Anger...Fear...Aggression...Yankees...the dark side are they."
* . . . your X-Wing has a still in it.
* . . . your lightsaber has a beer can crusher in the base.
* . . . there is more oil in your robes than in your astromech droid.
* . . . your robes have the Golden Flour label on them.
* . . . you trim your beard and find a Mylock.
* . . . you have ever used a lightsaber to light the barbecue grill.
* . . . you use Jawas for a drink holders.
* . . . you fight with a lightsaber in one hand and a spit cup in the other.
* . . . you use a Jedi mind trick to stop the beer truck.
* . . . you use your Jedi healing powers to clear up your V.D.
* . . . you think the best use of your lightsaber is picking your teeth.
* . . . you ever lost a hand during a lightsaber fight because you had to spit.
* . . . your Jedi robe is camouflage colored.
* . . . at least one wing of your X-Wing is primer colored.
* . . . you can easily describe the taste of an Ewok.
* . . . you can find no grammatical errors in the way Yoda talks.
* . . . you think Stormtroopers are just KKK members with really good sheets.
* . . . you have ever used the Force in conjunction with fishing / bowling.
* . . . your father has ever said to you, "Shoot, son, come on over t' the dark side...it'll be a hoot."
* . . . you have ever had your R2 unit use its arc welding torch to get the barbecue grill to light.
* . . . you jump-start your lightsaber off a car battery.
* . . . you beat the Gammorean Guard in an "ugly" contest.
* . . . your father's name is Garth Vader.
* . . . you got your lightsaber by sending in 750 Skoal Lids.
* . . . you have ever beaten up Han Solo for lookin' at your sister.
* . . . you constantly mistake R2 units for beer kegs.
* . . . you count B.O. as a Jedi power.
* . . . you have ever used a lightsaber to skin a deer.

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<table border="0"><tr><td><h1>You might be a Redneck Jedi if .... Joke</h1>
<hr />
<table border="0" width="60%"><tr><td bgcolor="#FFFFFF">ou Might Be A Redneck Jedi If . . .<br> * . . . you use your lightsaber to cut the bottlecap off a beer.<br> * . . . you say "these are not the beers you are looking for."<br> * . . . that "disturbance in the Force" was just last night's baked beans.<br> * . . . the inside of your house looks more like Dagobah than the outside.<br> * . . . you call your young apprentice, "Juner.(JR.)"<br> * . . . you have ever used telekinesis to pull your jeans up.<br> * . . . the Force isn't the only thing that runs in your family.<br> * . . . you call Hank Williams Jr. "master".<br> * . . . your landspeeder has a gun rack.<br> * . . . you meditate to old CCR records.<br> * . . . you call Yoda your Li'l green buddy.<br> * . . . you have ever said, "Anger...Fear...Aggression...Yankees...the dark side are they."<br> * . . . your X-Wing has a still in it.<br> * . . . your lightsaber has a beer can crusher in the base.<br> * . . . there is more oil in your robes than in your astromech droid.<br> * . . . your robes have the Golden Flour label on them.<br> * . . . you trim your beard and find a Mylock.<br> * . . . you have ever used a lightsaber to light the barbecue grill.<br> * . . . you use Jawas for a drink holders.<br> * . . . you fight with a lightsaber in one hand and a spit cup in the other.<br> * . . . you use a Jedi mind trick to stop the beer truck.<br> * . . . you use your Jedi healing powers to clear up your V.D.<br> * . . . you think the best use of your lightsaber is picking your teeth.<br> * . . . you ever lost a hand during a lightsaber fight because you had to spit.<br> * . . . your Jedi robe is camouflage colored.<br> * . . . at least one wing of your X-Wing is primer colored.<br> * . . . you can easily describe the taste of an Ewok.<br> * . . . you can find no grammatical errors in the way Yoda talks.<br> * . . . you think Stormtroopers are just KKK members with really good sheets.<br> * . . . you have ever used the Force in conjunction with fishing / bowling.<br> * . . . your father has ever said to you, "Shoot, son, come on over t' the dark side...it'll be a hoot."<br> * . . . you have ever had your R2 unit use its arc welding torch to get the barbecue grill to light.<br> * . . . you jump-start your lightsaber off a car battery.<br> * . . . you beat the Gammorean Guard in an "ugly" contest.<br> * . . . your father's name is Garth Vader.<br> * . . . you got your lightsaber by sending in 750 Skoal Lids.<br> * . . . you have ever beaten up Han Solo for lookin' at your sister.<br> * . . . you constantly mistake R2 units for beer kegs.<br> * . . . you count B.O. as a Jedi power.<br> * . . . you have ever used a lightsaber to skin a deer.</td></tr></table></td></tr><tr><td><font style="font-size: 10px; weight: bold"><a href="http://www.dork.tv">brought to you by Dork.tv</a></td></tr></table>

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